Everything in this world
Exists to break you down
People don't die of old age
They're dragged down
with the weight of accumulated sorrows

I watch as spirits in those who are young
Wither away
Like dry grass in hungry flames
So young
This wasn't supposed to be us
This wasn't supposed to be me
We smile and paint pretty pictures
Our fingers stained with ink and something else
We curl our hair and wear our gowns
Make ourselves up like china dolls
pretend, bow, smile
As we scream underneath
This was not supposed to be me

And now that we are finally alone
Even at home
We stare at the wall
Wishing for something unutterable in cowardice
Hoping for that phone call
Praying for someone to come pull us
Out and up

Like princesses locked away
Like frail lillies meant only for display
I wish I was a dandelion
They won't quit
They grow where other flowers won't even
In the sparsest and barren of parking lots
and cracks in the sidewalk; Desperate, struggling
to spread arms out to the sky
People call them weeds
And water them with poison
And yank them up by the roots
Ripping and killing grass
But where one dissappears another pops up
But they never stop
Defiant yellow spots on green canvas
I wish I was like that

Friends promise this and that
And they always end at that
Family drifts in and out like ghosts
Strangers stop and stare then are gone
Seems oddly kind of loose
You were happy once and you will be again
That is, if you want it
Right now you drift between the bubbles of worlds
And gaze back at reflections with vision
I want back in

I come in. It smells like old wine crates and bitter vinegar and sweat.
You say this and that
Apologize, excuses, the whole routine
And just like always I say yes I forgive you
No i wont hate you
Please don't do that
not again
please

please

dont hurt me like this

by hurting the only thing you seem to hate the most

you.


and so I watch from afar
Always there like some hidden protector
who cant protect
like a shadow thats pale
and wait
for you to fall yet again
because we both know Ill be there to catch you
again
as usual

But be careful

I just might

slip.